Thursday, 29 October 2009 | 3:21 pm
Yesterday:
Went out with mengwu, chen yong, yuhan and American .. Went chenyong hse in the moring then went to party world and all the songs they sang, i know how to sing :3 one of my dream is joining campus super star :D haha.. Came back home around 0630 yesterday. Quite happy. Chated with derek on msn in the evening. Recently, when he talks to me, feel lyk he wants to fight with me D: I asked him for some more ideas for fighting the harsh situation. He said 一哭, 二闹,三上吊.. kays, now im going to try for it. Starting from crying first .. Lol ..
Today:
If i will pass the exams for entering nanyang, today and tmr will be the last two days for me to stay in bishan park.. I am really sad, and during recess time, i cried .. Miss Teo was going to cry oso.. Daughter and farah were beside me.. I thought if i wont have anymore chances to sit besdie them in this canteen.. if i wont have anymore chances to sit on this bench.. if i wont have anymore chances to step into the hall.. if i wont have anymore chances to see him.. if i wont have anymore chances to laugh together with my 1e5 .. I rather die .. So i cried .. Guoqiang asked me wat happened, then he told the rest.. If im really going to leave.. i will miss every singel person in here.. and suffer a lot from the missing..
After we came back to sch from NYP, we sat at canteen, jingting and eunice saw him , they shouted Jelly Jelly.. heee, i just turned and saw him.. Since i said im giving up.. I dont have so much feelings for him.. but i really still like him..
Sch ended around 1230, went J8 with my sticky tape, met lynn and marcus there. Same as everyday we two did, walked walked walked dunno how many rounds in j8. Then went tomson plaza and played swing at the playground. Feel like i have a quite long time nvr played swing.. Long time nvr had that kind of peace in my heart.. Feeling the wind passing by and the leafs dropping down on me.. I want my life just like this easy, this simple, this comfortable and this peaceful.. Farah said ur parents always want to give u the best .. I said yea.. they are kinda of nice parents .. but they just do everything what they want to do and without asking abt my feelings.. My life should belong to me, but they decide everything for me.. even i dunno want , i dunno like, and they will say, what we do is always the correct and the best for u, just follow and shut up.. Ok, fine.. but this time i wont listen to u anymore.. hopefully i will fail the exams and stay in bishan park until i take my o level..
Abt u .. even though i decided to give up.. i still cannot move away my attentions from u.. today, when i think about if this is almost the last time for me to meet u .. how should i do .. feel like im going to die.. less breath .. mind is staying in the blank statue.. if i cannot see you anymore, whose smile will light up my heart whenever i feel depressed and hopeless.. if i cannot see you anymore, what is the hope that should i keep in my heart whenever i want to give up.. ur name, ur smile, ur every single action flash in my mind every second.. i dunno how will i live without meeting u anymore.. but if i stay here.. will there be any changes between us in the rest of years..? nah, shouldn't be any.. u might even wont care abt me until u leave here oso, u might even wont know there is a me love u a lot and a lot until u graduate .. pretty sad .. i have no words and no more ideas alr..
Farah, Jingting, Eunice my three best friends in e5, my mummy Cixin, my daddy Fongchong, my daughter Keepa, my son Justin, my grandpa Derek.. rachel, sarafina, nicole, huiting, francis, marcus, glenn, weiheng, seth, suresh, haochen and other classes, haoshuai, shiyi, jiaming, mengwu,dengwei, joshua, vanessa, marcus, claudia, jordan, xinyi, grisselda, nathanha, stefay, yenny, venny, veron, melissa, nicole, lynn, huiyi, zhining, huishan, clare, even dinglin, guoqiang, adam, ivan, dylan and hadassha, illy, jocelyn, xiuwen, xinni and my jelly and the blah blah blah blah blah and blah.. all of them are the reasons for me to stay in here.. even though there are a lot ppl hate me and many enemies i have.. but i still love bps a lot ..
If tmr is the last day for meeting they all in sch.. If time can stop at here.. I want to say, i love them, and i want to stay together with them forever ..
Labels: Sorrow around
♥ IVYLILUJIA