Friday, 16 April 2010 | 6:56 pm
MeIllJfeelsComplicated
My life is all about craps. Fuck my life. I hate myself.
Things have gone wrong and wrong. Just reached home about 30 mins. now i started to hate my cca. i dont know why. many ppl had irritated me and disgusted me. Im so unhappy.
These days always got many many fucking things happened. Okayy. life is too short, i must enjoy myself and try to be happy. Yeah, i always think like this, but i really cannot recover. Sometimes, friends are like shit. but, its referring to those ppl who are only acting and being fake in front of you as a friend. that is so rascalled. argh, i hate those bithches and bastards. Don't know me don't judge me. You can hate me even aboveboard, but don't talk behind my back.
Pe was okay today. i prayed very hard last night for today can rain during pe period. and god did it. there was raining during pe lesson although it's very small. i was so grateful about his print and his work, thx Jesus, thx God {; we no need to run then. went to hall went through our results for napfa first. this year even nvr got bronze, failed my 2.4 and becoz my pull up only got one point, so my total scores had dropped. ehh. then went down to gym. T1 was there too. it was fun to watch those little monkeys run here run there and play in the gym. talked to audrey about what happened these days last night. i was recovered a little bit. emo-ed during the time in gym. lied againset keepa and chatted with jingting, venny and huiyi. took picture then.
Geo test was okayy. zul you should say a big big thank you to me. f&n, i love the course work (: i like ms kok also, she is cute but talk a lot. nvm larh, old ppl all lyk that mah. at least she is not as same as those young bithchy teachers in our sch. chinese lesson also okayy larh. super sian as usual. tmr needs to go the chinese and english translation competition, not able to attend sc gm again. not nervous about the competition, wether can win or not, it will always be fine. who cares, as long as i worked for it and paid efforts for it. 0715 am must reach what what station on circle line. omg, how early should i get up. vanessa and lynn will also be there with me. too lazy to edit the icast. ahh. will do it tmr bah.
When all the sec2 guides got their bronze badges, i was there alone in the corner shamefully. I was kind of disappointed on myself, yeah, i hate myself. what the fuck i had done? why ppl must treat me like this? teacher, you even don't bother to check my book. why ignored me? i was poor already, why must you make me even more pitiful. Yeah, im on fault also. i had never paid in too much efforts. okayy, i know that and i did self criticism. but, as long as you are the teacher, you are the guider, you should ask me for my book and discuss with me where should i improve more. however, what did you do to me? the silver total defence also. you gave me that kind of face and said to me, we did the course work during camp lorh. ahh yoo, who knows there is someone nvr came for camp. wtf. i have my reasons, and somemore, it's my family problem. how can i leave the dying person alone and join the fucking camp? omg, i am so moody. and i hate all all all all all living things in the world.
Class tee. okayy. im not going to say any more words out. i know you all think i am bitchy. never mind. i will agree with all the colours that you all want to make. im not complaining here. but all the words ppl talk behind my back, i knew that. i just want to say that, we are still young, still childish. human will make mistakes, and some more, we are children who are not mature enough. so, i want to ask for forgiving that some words i had said wrongly. okayy, im just too hyper on that day. i was trying to entertain the class some how. and believe me, i had never wanted to point against someone, i hope ppl can understand.
My heart is like a desolate, barren and ravaged land. breeze comes, breeze goes. spring comes, spring goes. love comes, love goes. It's like a piece of grass being trampled by everybody. somethings that i wished to happen, they still happened. but all those sad stuff which i nvr wished to happen ever once in my life, they also keep happening day in day out.
Post until here bah. need go study le. hope everything goes well on me. Me, loved. lost. ps; i cannot find my guide handbook. what the fuck. im struggling in all the troubles. ); Byees.
- I had expeced you can come to me. But when all the things happened so suddenly. I had never got excited or felt happy. It's just even more complicated. It's just like two old friends. but no any other feelings. however, things just happened so. i really can't explain.
Labels: Sorrow around
♥ IVYLILUJIA